Taking Self-Responsibility Seriously | Love and Acceptance | Dimensions of Wellbeing

Self-Responsibility and love are the foundation and context of wellness. They are the seeds from which all other wellness dimensions sprout. Before we go any further, think about those two statements for a minute.

What does it mean to love yourself and take responsibility for caring for yourself?

Continuing with the series of blogs on Wellness, this post will begin the focus on the 12 dimensions of wellness and the idea that everything is connected, linked and interdependent.

Remember that you can always pop over to our Wellness Inventory to get deeper with the lessons I’m touching on in these blogs…

Wellness_Inventory alone

Self Responsibility and Love 

As a dimension of wellness self-improvement is great if it’s done in a spirit of fun and creativity, or even approached as a method of learning. However, if we are always feeling that we aren’t good enough as we are, we will never be satisfied by any of the changes we make.

The problem with any focus on self-improvement is that such an orientation inevitably makes self-acceptance conditional. In other words, I’m working on improving my body with exercise and, therefore, am not accepting my body the way it is.

Therefore, the first step in creating the life of our dreams based on wellness  is to arrive at a place of true self acceptance. As the John Legend song goes, work on accepting, “All your perfect imperfections.”

After all, we can’t ever feel totally secure or good enough so long as our self-regard depends on constantly bettering ourselves, can we?

Additionally, self-acceptance is here-and-now oriented, not future oriented, as in: “I’ll be okay once…(I lose five pounds, etc. etc.)” or “As soon as I accomplish…(A flatter tummy, etc. etc.) I’ll be happy.”

Self-acceptance is about already being okay, with no qualifications whatsoever.

This doesn’t mean that we ignore or deny our faults or frailties, just that we view them as irrelevant to our basic acceptability. Perhaps you say to yourself, “Yes, this is not perfect, but it is mine, and because it is the way it is, I accept it.”

Self-Acceptance and Personal Growth

It’s also possible to accept and love ourselves and still be committed to a lifetime of personal growth. Instead of seeing the two as mutually exclusive, try to connect them; what if something good could be great, for example.

Accepting ourselves as we are today doesn’t mean we’ll be without the motivation to make changes or improvements that will make us more effective, either.Understanding the basis of motivation and what drives us an propels us forward is an important element of self-acceptance.

We don’t have to actually do anything to secure our self-acceptance: we have only to change the way we look at ourselves. So changing our behaviors becomes solely a matter of personal preference–not a prerequisite for greater self-regard.

You may need to work towards how you speak to yourself so as not to set unrealistic qualifiers on yourself. Good enough, as I’ve said previously, should be good enough.

Creating Self-Acceptance for Yourself 

In order to stand firm on the platform of self acceptance you have to start by taking responsibility for yourself, your choices, and asking for what you need. Self acceptance is ultimately about creating the vital and energy filled life and knowing that you deserve it.

On the other hand, beating yourself up over mistakes, or physical issues you see in yourself will not act to serve you in accepting yourself for who you really are. Be mindful of your inner voice as you go about your day, while you’re eating, and/or spending time with friends.

While this lesson could go on for quite some time, you may want to consider joining us for access to your well-being to keep learning about ways to improve your sense of welling.

Assess Your Well-being

Assess your own state of overall well-being by visiting: Whole Person Wellness  This link takes you to the site where you can join me in the program that provides you access to 12 months of an in-depth look at your own wellness.

By joining me in the program you will have your individual results (far more detailed than in this blog) in the 12 dimensions we will be discussing, and the tools you need if you want to increase  your well-being and build on the foundation of self acceptance.

Dr. Ines K. RoeDr. Ines K. Roe has been helping women in transition rediscover themselves for over 20 years. If you’ve  been feeling unfulfilled, are frustrated with your sense of accomplishment in midlife, or simply need guidance on your path to holistic well being, join her ecourse.


By |2017-04-07T09:34:06+00:00April 7th, 2017|Emotions, Personal Life, Wellness|5 Comments


  1. Carol Cassara May 18, 2015 at 12:46 pm - Reply

    I just had this discussion with a friend and I’m sending this to her.

  2. Kimba May 18, 2015 at 1:14 pm - Reply

    This is SO timely! Just had this conversation with a close relative who needs to be participant in her own healthy well-being. Relying on doctors to “fix” your heath is not the answer, you must be responsible for your own healthy well-being as well as accept the tools that doctors offer. Sharing your post with her.

  3. Tam Warner Minton May 18, 2015 at 2:06 pm - Reply

    ah, self acceptance. A very difficult concept. I work on accepting the way I am…it can be very hard to do. Thanks for your blog, I signed up!

  4. Doreen McGettigan May 18, 2015 at 4:41 pm - Reply

    This is so timely for me. I am going through a health crisis at the moment and no one seems to think it is urgent except for me. I have had to take control of my situation and when my doctors did not listen I got new ones.
    I am looking forward to the well being and maintaining wellness part.

  5. Lois Alter Mark May 18, 2015 at 7:21 pm - Reply

    You’re so right that, for better or worse, we have to take care of our own wellness. No one is as invested in it as we are.

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