woman middle age with tools wearing safety helmet smiling home renovationBe Self Aware – Get a Grip on Who You Are

Wherever you go, there you are. It’s pretty hard to run away from anything you don’t like about yourself. Try as you may, the truth keeps coming back and staring you right in the eyes. Let’s face it, everyone has some parts of themselves that may be working at sabotaging their goals. Whatever that sabotaging behavior may be, the worst way to deal with it is to sweep it under the rug – it is important to get a grip on it and be honest about it.


Female worker wearing a toolbelt work apron for tools

Through this series of blog posts I am going to help you to continue to assemble your “Life Tool Box.” The toolbox will be filled with lots of simple living skills. When you are having a rough time in your life, just look in the Life Tool Box and find the best skill to help you that day.

Each week I’ll continue to choose one common home improvement tool to represent one of these life skills. By the end of each blog post, you’ll understand exactly why you need that tool and how you can use it to improve your daily life.


This time, we’re going to use the handy pliers as a reminder to “get a grip” on who you are. It’s time to be honest with yourself. The truth is there anyway – it’s better when you get a handle on it.


 Get a grip on yourself  – Ignorance Leads to Painful Consequences

Let’s use an example to show  the value of being honest with yourself. Imagine that a woman named Natalie has difficulty with money. She gets paid about the same amount each month, but she doesn’t know where it all goes and feels like she’s always scraping by.

The pain of these consequences is real. She goes from paycheck to paycheck and doesn’t understand why. If an emergency happened, she would need to borrow from friends or family, put it on her credit card, or go without the repair. She knows this is not a good way to live, but she has been afraid to face reality and take a closer look at herself.

Honesty May Hurt Now, But It Can Reveal Wonderful Things

The reality has been there all along but she hasn’t wanted to name it. She feels anxiety about money so she barely pays attention to how she spends it. She also acknowledges that she often makes emotional purchases to soothe her feelings. This truth has made it difficult for her to be financially stable.

She also realizes that she really would like to support a homeless shelter in her city. She was homeless for a short time as a child and has always wanted to give back. But because she didn’t have a lot of money left over, she never thought it was something she could do. Her generosity is also a truth, but she has pushed it to the side. She’d like to put her generosity into action and knows she needs to learn about money management to make this happen.

Honesty Allows You to Make Positive Change

Now that she’s gotten the courage to look more closely at the truth she’s discovered two things. Right now, she’s irresponsible with money. This can change with training and developing better habits. Right now, she’s also generous and motivated to give money to a charity that means a lot to her. This can happen because she plans to learn how to budget her money so she has some available for her donation.

She’s now open to learning about her bad habits, excuses, and emotional reasoning that keeps her in a bad spot with money. By being honest with herself, she has the potential to create a more responsible lifestyle and to help others with her financial gifts. None of this would be possible if she kept trying to run from the truth.

Get a Grip and Get Honest

Being honest with yourself can bring on a lot of anxiety at first. But once you see what’s there, you’ll find that it’s easier to take action. You might even find something wonderful along the way like Natalie did.

Tell me, what have you done to “get a grip” on the truth in your life, and what did you learn about yourself? What did you give up and what did you gain?


Project111-150x150Dr. Ines K. Roe has been helping women in transition rediscover themselves for over 20 years. If you’re  been feeling unfulfilled, are frustrated with your sense of accomplishment in midlife, or simply need guidance on your path to holistic well-being, consider her ecourses.