We all have ongoing dialogues with ourselves – all the time, all day long. Most often we do it without even realizing that we are doing it.

What is the tone that you use with yourself? Are you your own “BFF” and are kind, encouraging and loving with yourself? Or are you harsh, critical and punishing with yourself?

Continuing with the series of blogs on Wellness, this post will proceed with a spin around the wellness wheel focusing on the 12 dimensions of wellness. We’ll continue to look at the dimension of communication this week. In last week’s post we talked about –  interpersonal communications (2 way dialogues) and this week we will focus  intrapersonal communication (how we talk to ourselves).

Our Self-Esteem and Self-Talk

How we talk to ourselves is strongly impacted by the esteem that we hold ourselves in. I am sure that you have heard about “self-esteem” but if you really think about that phrase it tells you how much you like yourself.

If you like someone you aren’t rude to them or mean to them; you talk kindly to them and don’t want to hurt their feelings.

Shouldn’t you treat yourself with the same kindness you use to treat others? I know that many of us say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to someone else.

I challenge you to monitor your internal dialogue for at least a week. It is far more easy to ignore your negative self-talk than you might imagine. And it could be killing your self-esteem.

One exercise that is often suggested to grow awareness of our internal dialogue is to spend a day checking on how you talk to yourself. Stop what you’re doing every couple of hours and jot down observations about what you have said to yourself.

If you find that you are filled with frustration, self-doubt, and pity, try to incorporate some positive mantras into what you say to yourself.

Use phrases like, “I did a great job on this,” or “I am good at…” to help bolster your own confidence. Many people even develop their own version of a mantra that is unique to them; feel free to try this as well.

Dr. Ines K. Roe has been helping women in transition rediscover themselves for over 20 years. If you’re  been feeling unfulfilled, are frustrated with your sense of accomplishment in midlife, or simply need guidance on your path to holistic well being, join her ecourses or sign up for the Whole Person Wellness program.